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REFLECTIONS

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Well Keeper Reflections

Public·165 Well Keepers



I picked a day not knowing where in the world I’d be

such is my life

Turns out I’m at my mother’s house, fresh off the plane, packing to leave on another plane, to a 7-day walking wilderness experience with the legendary guide Sicelo Mbatha.

I will be walking through the iMfolozi, one of the largest and oldest Big Five reserves in South Africa.

I have just returned from Alaska where I was finishing up my 7-week rotation onboard the National Geographic Quest.

It’s now 06:18 and I have been awake since 03:30. Hallo jet lag, my old friend.

I have surrendered to this day not being spent entirely in silence, not in full contemplation.

It will be filled with logistics, life admin, driving across the peninsula, and shifting gears from work space to “life” space.

Usually, now is the time when I shift into deep contemplation mode. I breathe, step back, contemplate my full existence, and take time with the world.

Today I woke with the urge to explore beyond physical form, and the identity shift it brings.

I had a dream on the plane of me sitting on a beach in front of a body of water. The light’s rays came out from behind a cloud and got brighter and brighter. I sensed a being was trying to make itself known to me.

What if that being was me?

Tomorrow I will be walking out into the Bush. Out into the wildness to claim back the wildness in me. Unashamedly untamed. Free. The fear this spaces illicits in some, while others find it enticingly exciting.  Creatures roam, like the shadows of one’s unexplored psyche. Beautiful in their freedom; scary in their feral  nature. A sight to behold in their natural habitat. Coming face to face with their magnificence. Like seeing one’s own true beauty for the first time. This journey back to self. Back to other. Back to eco versus ego.*

Turns out I grab chunks of time through out this day. And I write. My go-to

This day is dawning in magnificent shades of red, out along a clear blue sky. The surf thunders, still rolling from the winter storms that have lashed the Cape coastline for weeks. This winter is unrelenting.

Such has been my inner  journey the last year or so. A tidal onslaught of wave after wave of … what exactly? Doubt? Fear? Realisation? I’m single again. At 45. Who will want me? How has this much time gone by? Where has it gone? Is this it? Is this really my life? Has it made a difference?

I come out the other side of that shadow time with a fresh appreciation for the passing of time. I carefully shape and mould it. Turning it in my hand as it’s translucence becomes clear: time is what I make of it. Life is what I make of it. Age is what I make of it.

And so the rest is to be lived,

Wildly uninhabited. With abandon. Awareness of constraints is liberating. Self- inflicted constraints fall away. An illusion. My attention: sharpened. My focus is different. I live with my knowledge, and all the ancestors who have gone before. I tap in. This well is deep and ever available.

Unknown member
Aug 24

Thank you for your beautiful words, from one 64 year old who asks myself the same questions-- guessing we are not alone in that. Oh, 48! What a nice age! Celebrate the many years you still have to live fully! It sounds as if you have been doing a wonderful job of just that... It's fun to have a glimpse of such adventures and get to live it a bit through your words! And it's wonderful in this group of Wellkeepers to have so many who honor the sacred in these wild places. Blessings and thank you!

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